I am sitting here at the locally owned coffee shop in my neighborhood among a variety of folks sipping their fair trade coffees and teas as they type away on their laptops. The pair near me are discussing the woman's resume and career goals. The man is a life coach or consultant of some sort. I find myself eves-dropping in hopes of gaining some free advice.

It's nothing I haven't heard before.
1. Outline your personal goals.
2. What does full time or part time work look like to you?
3. What does success look like to you?
4. Which skills are you most excited about sharing?

This is not the class I took in college. That was where I was told to find out what the company needs and look for qualities in myself that proves I can do that job. Make sure the resume reflects that and point it out in the cover letter.

Now I'm a stay at home mom ready to use another part of my brain and that Master's degree I completed in the 40th week of pregnancy. But tossing a resume and cover letter out to the world is ridiculous anymore. Besides that...there is a voice in my heart that says..."I want to create a job that really works for me!"

I don't want to be twisting myself to fit into a mold. I want to create the mold that fits me. I want a job that allows me the flexibility to work around a family who gets sick, shares a car, needs to take a dog to the vet and gets a crappy night's sleep. I want work that provides enough income to allow us to make decisions for our daughter based on our idea of quality care, not on price. I want to feel inspired, challenged, supported and joyful as I work. I want to be able to be fully present with family while work waits.

Does this sound like I've been watching The Secret? Well, sort of. My family attends the Center for Spiritual Living in Seattle. The messages we get are all about this.

There is enough for everyone.
What you believe, you receive.
It is possible to have all that you want and need.
It is not wrong to want joy, prosperity and peace.

So Sunday mornings we leave church inspired, reflective and hopeful. Somedays, that inspiration seeps through the rest of the day, maybe even to Monday. But most days, it flows out of us as soon as we look at the credit card bill or realize we need groceries and pay day isn't for a week.

It's exhausting to go up and down like this. Of course, it's exhausting staying in the pits as well. I'm the person who starts collecting things to make the environment just right for the perfect experience. You know this person. I have a decorative rug still in the plastic bag from crate and barrel waiting to be used for my daily mediation. I even bought a special candle to help create the sacred space. I have a daily meditation book to help my mind focus. I read "Eat, Pray, Love" already.

But when I dropped my daughter off for my two hours of free time this month, I thoroughly enjoyed the donut from the grocery store and watching another episode of Flip This House. When reality sets in, my enlightened self steps out. Aaahh....I think I'll meditate on that tomorrow.