a better human to make the effort. So this series of articles will be focused on the thoughts and experiences I have regarding my own White privilege and how I am affecting the world around me. Please be patient with me if you are able to see my own ignorance before I do.


I recently attended a workshop called “Making Whiteness Visible” by Dr. Shakti Butler. She challenged us to analyze an experience we have had using a specific framework in order to deconstruct the layers of influence that created our behaviors and reactions. I often find myself walking into a group and noticing the people of color and feeling the need to introduce myself. I don’t have this need with all the white people in the group. I know that if it was appropriate to wear a t-shirt saying I was a good white person, that I would probably do it. Ok…maybe not but I know the desire to prove myself to the people of color in the group is important. Why is this? Why do I also feel the need to smile at every person of color on the street as if to say, “I recognize you, even if my ancestors didn’t recognize your ancestors.” Is it really just guilt? Am I trying to prove something to them or to myself?

The first step that Dr. Butler recommended was to share the personal experience and sit with it. Allow ourselves to fully express every detail as we sometimes erase details in our mind but they will show up as we speak it out loud. In a work situation, I find myself very aware of the people of color in the group and make an extra effort to meet them, support their ideas and laugh at their jokes. This is very disingenuous. I’m sure they are feeling that way too. A lack of authenticity is very obvious. So I began to deconstruct this experience based on the framework of analysis that Dr. Butler provided us.

On a personal level, I know that I am acting from guilt. On the surface, I am worried that they will think I will make judgments based on their skin color. That I will ignore their opinions and choose a White colleague’s project to support over theirs. On a deeper personal level, I know that I have done this in the past. I know that I am capable of acting on the prejudices with which I have been acculturated. So my guilt is not about the other person, it is about me but I am essentially asking this person to forgive me for my past mistakes so that I can feel better. Well…it’s not her job. It’s my job to forgive myself and be more authentic and reflective this time around. On a cultural and community level, I know that this particular person does not have a circle of support in the organization. I also know that I don’t know how to create an authentic relationship with her. When she shares her ideas, they don’t get the automatic support that other staff receives. On a policy and law level, I am aware that the people in power in my work environment are all white but the people providing direct care and services to clients are primarily people of color. I know that in the first two years of my employment, four people left my organization. Three were African American. Two of those had been fired. The other left out of frustration with the organization.

This is an important reflection for me because it allows me to see where I can use my access to privilege in an authentic way. I recall supporting staff of color by personally recruiting them for projects where they had a lot of autonomy and making sure that they were recognized for the great work that was being done. I had to present ideas in order to gain support and funds from our administration. Unfortunately, there were times when I still was awarded with diversity certificates and achievement medals even though someone else did the work. It was a challenging situation.

It was becoming easier to find strategies to use my power and privilege in a work setting but I still struggle with how to ease my over-enthusiastic need to connect with people of color without an authentic need or desire. I think my lesson is to sit back and give the space that I allow everyone else while watching for the moment where my privilege will alter the experience of the people of color in my space. That’s when I need to act; whether it be to shut up and give the stage to them, reinforcing their thoughts and ideas to make sure they are being heard or addressing injustice as I see it. I think that will be the moment when I will prove my worth as a trustworthy white person who is really trying to recognize the unfair system. That effort will create a much more authentic relationship and impact than a million smiles.


Goodman, D. (2001). Promoting diversity and social justice: Educating people from privileged groups. Sage, Thousand Oaks, Ca.